Once Ashley is clearer about what’s going on she can think about what options are available to her.

You can use this worksheet to get clearer about what are your options in your own conflict.

1. Miracle question
What would she like to be different?
  • The amount of noise near her room
  • To be able to focus on her studies and do well in her exams
How would she feel?
  • Less stressed and nervous
  • Less worried about the exams and study
  • That she was understood by John
  • More in control of her home environment
What specific things would need to change so that she would know the conflict had been resolved or was being managed well?
  • She would feel comfortable in her room in the evenings
  • Not feel frustrated when she saw John out and about
  • She would be on top of her study and time management
2. Prioritise

It is important that Ashley considers what is most important to her. She might write these things down to be able to reflect on them. She may want:

  • Peace and quiet while she studies
  • The ability to rest and relax in the lead up to exams
3. Action steps

What steps could Ashley take to assist her in making the changes that she wants to see?

Ashley knows that she would feel less anxious if she could study in quiet. She could work towards achieving this by:

  • Talking to John and letting him know how she feels
  • Working together on a solution that suits them both
  • Moving out
  • Finding alternative solutions that fit her study habits

It would be useful for Ashley to brainstorm all the possible action steps that she could take so she can consider a range of options that are available to her and she can make a more informed choice.

Let’s see how her options could fit into the categories of:

What does Ashley think her options are at the moment?