Accommodation (Giving in)

You tend to give more weight to the needs and concerns of others than your own. You would rather please others than pursue your own goals.

The accommodator is sometimes known as the panda bear, who will do anything to be loved!

Giving in is when you agree to an outcome or simply accept what the other person is offering in the hope that they will be happy and the conflict will go away, even if the outcome isn’t particularly good for you.

Giving in might be a good option if:

  • Keeping the other person happy is more important to you than the substance of the conflict
  • You think that stating what you really want would damage the relationship that you want to preserve above all else
  • The other person is likely to do the same for you in the future (i.e. they get what they want this time, but with the understanding that you get what you want next time)

However, giving in is not the best choice if:

  • You are sacrificing something that you really want or need
  • You are going to be resentful in the future about having given in
  • The other person does not understand that you expect them to do the same for you next time next time a conflict arises