Competing (Confrontation)

You see your needs as the most important and pursue your goals over others. You may push your views onto other people.

The lion represents the competitor, who wants to confront others, is aggressive and ‘bites’ people.

Competing is when you choose to directly confront the person you are in conflict with. You could confront someone by strongly asserting yourself. Confrontation can sometimes turn into an unpleasant verbal, or even physical fight and make the conflict worse. How you manage a confrontation (e.g. whether you are assertive or aggressive) can make a significant difference to the outcome.

You may decide a confrontation is needed if:

  • If it is important that you make a quick decision and forcing the other party is necessary
  • You have tried working it out before and a confrontation would help the other party realise how important the issue is to you
  • You want to put pressure on the other person to resolve the conflict

However, confrontation might not be a good choice if:

  • You think you or the other person may lose control physically or emotionally
  • You want to hurt someone so they will feel how much you are hurting
  • You will have to keep seeing the person after an unpleasant confrontation (e.g. at university or a social setting)
  • You have an ongoing relationship that may be damaged by your confrontational behavior